It has become a morning ritual. I roll over, grab my phone, plod to the bathroom and play an episode of Paternity Court while I go through the morning ritual of washing my face, brushing my teeth, and pretending that I am going to do something with my hair. After Judge Lauren Lake tells the onlookers in the courtroom that they may be seated, the bailiff tells her what case they have on the docket and she thanks him. She then greets the people in the courtroom with, "Good day!" Along with the onlookers, I respond, "Good day," around my toothbrush, my mouth full of Arm and Hammer whitening toothpaste. This is the beginning of my escape.
The world right now is kinda crazy. If you're reading this in the future, I'm talking about 2020. The year that Kenneth Copeland blew the breath of God onto Covid-19 and commanded it to "go!" Covid-19 was mad disobedient and stuck around. This is also the year that Asian murder hornets decided that the Western Hemisphere would be a great place to vacation. This is also the year that America decided that they'd had ENOUGH of the police (and civilians with a superiority complex) being careless with black lives. (Of course I know that other lives are affected by police brutality and civilian ignorance, but I'm black, so black lives are the ones I am going to talk about here. Does that upset you? Please post your own blog then. And I thank you!)
At first, when the news of Breonna Taylor (who was killed by police in a raid on the wrong house), Ahmaud Arbery (who was killed by civilians trying to make a "citizens arrest"), and George Floyd (who was killed by police when they blocked his airways for eight minutes by kneeling on the man's neck) hit me like a series of head and gut punches, I joined the social media outcry, posting my thoughts, sharing the thoughts of others, and sharing memes.
Almost immediately the protests began. With the protests came rioting, looting and fires. Lots of looting and fires. It was at this point that I began seeing a post being shared that basically stated that the person posting was rooting for the protesters until the rioting and looting began. This pissed me off to no end. PEOPLE HAD LOST THEIR LIVES AND YOU WITHDRAW YOUR SUPPORT BECAUSE OF LOOTING?1? Wow. Begone, asshat!
I don't know how many social media arguments I engaged in, trying to get people to understand that protesters and rioters were most likely not the same people. That looting is a crime of opportunity. That it has been proven that fires started during situations like this are mostly the result of police using pyrotechnic triple charge gas grenades (say that five times fast!) to disperse the crowd. But of course, my arguments fell on deaf ears.
I understood the hurt and trauma that some people were feeling. I understand that traumatized people are destructive. I know what it's like to be in so much pain that you want to BREAK something.
- let me take a little segue here. Whenever I type the above sentence about breaking something, I always think of that scene in Fight Club when "Jack" (you know "I am Jack's liver...") comments on the brutal beating he gave Angel Face, stating that he wanted to destroy something beautiful. This is actually how I see the riots. Not the looting part. Just the riots. Anyway-
But here were some of my social media friends from real life, calling the protesters thugs. And not just thugs, but THUGS. All caps. Because I knew these people personally, I felt that I could appeal to their better angels in distinguishing between the protesters, the rioters, and the looters. They were not having it. These people were THUGS and should be treated as such. Oh, and by the way, this was not the right way to protest, in their humble opinion.
**Ain't y'all the SAME Nakers that said that Colin Kaepernick was not protesting the "right" way when he took a peaceful knee during "The Star Spangled Banner"? And then TWISTED the issue and tried to say that he was protesting the flag and the United States, hmmm? Wasn't that y'all? And THEN, when asked to clarify the right way to protest, there is never a clear, succinct answer, just <CRICKETS>. Clearly y'all Nakers don't know what y'all are talking about. Remain in your lane, then**
My blood, which was already at a steady boil, spilled over. My head and heart and mouth were too full of sadness and anger to try any longer.I could feel my ever-present anxiety ticking up into overdrive. I can't continue to live this way. I lay back in bed, covered my head with my college blanket made with performance fleece, and decided that I was going take a break from social media. I couldn't take the anger anymore. No more videos. No more memes. No more arguments with someone next door or in Russia. I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to do it anymore.
So, with the blanket over my head, I opened YouTube and watched the first video that was recommended. Paternity Court. And for 15 minutes, I was treated to a life changing issue that would be quickly solved with a simple DNA test. I shook my head at the absurdity of the gentleman's denials of paternity based on the child being too light or dark skinned (genetics, brother, learn about them). I laughed at the lady insisting that the gentleman was the father EVEN THOUGH she slept with two other men within the window of conception. And with the onlookers in the court room, I waited with bated breath as Judge Lake took her sweet time reading the results that were prepared by DNA Diagnostics.
I know the world is burning down around my ears and I should be at attention, with my head on a swivel. But I needed this break. I needed to breathe air and not snort fire like a Brahman bull sitting in the middle of a field (yes! I know bulls don't....you know what, I'm not explaining myself anymore. Good day!)
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